We had a late lunch in Nashville since the traffic was starting to bunch up. I took the wheel again into the Smokeys and into the worst traffic jam. You really are tested while in construction. Morally. Do you merge early, knowing that if everyone would just merge early, there wouldn't be much of a jam at all? Or do you zip along as far as possible before moving in, which benefits you? It's an interesting piece of game theory. Then there are the people who lose all good judgment. Like "Missouri."
Missouri was a gold Ford Explorer with Missouri (of course!) plates. The driver was a regular looking guy. His wife was in the passenger seat and in the back rode his daughter, who Jason swears was hot. I couldn't see, focused as I was on the bumper in front of me and the construction signs around. Three lanes had shrunken to two, and we were warned that it would close down ahead. Missouri moved over, like a good person, and I merged in a few cars in behind him. However, as time went on, I realized that the right lane was completely free. Where was this promised lane closure? Perhaps the signs were outdated.
Outside, the sun was setting.
I made my move. I got about a third of a mile before I had to slow down again. I wasn't the only one who'd given in to the siren call of the open lane. I was behind a semi in stop and go traffic for another 20 or 30 minutes when all of a sudden, this guy came screaming past on the shoulder and zipped around the semi in front of me, prompting more braking action on everyone's part.
"That was Missouri!" yelled Jason. "No way, Missouri is nice," I said, remembering his earlier merge. But as we moved on up, I looked over and sure enough, it was him. By now it was too dark to see the hot daughter in the back. Traffic eased as lanes opened back up and everyone sped up, as if stretching their wheels like tired legs. I took a place in the left lane, setting a good pack speed about 12 miles over the speed limit when we noticed that we'd passed Missouri and he was trying to pass in. With Jason as copilot, our Durango managed to block him out and generally keep him frustrated. Sad. A good man, driven to evil.
