I think the problem here came from me trying to connect Calista to my group of friends. Mind you, I'd just made this group of friends, really. No made as in I just met them but I mean that my gang had just sort of coalesced towards the end of junior year somewhere between the studying for AP tests and the first sips of summer. And it had coalesced around my house since I was in a good location and had "Disneyland in my basement" as one guy put it. Used? Maybe, but I didn't feel it.

That first meeting of Calista and the friends is still in my head. Awkwardness, for men. By Calvin Klein. She didn't like them. And I don't think she liked me around them. Or maybe she felt overwhelmed. I don't know. I just know that it didn't work. After she left (she was tired after synchro practice), I went back downstairs to get the valued opinions of close friends. "She really hates us," said Nikki Seiberlich, the nicest one of them. So I only try once more.

Star Wars. Everyone loves Star Wars. But, what a coincidence, my beautiful, witty and cultured girlfriend has not had the pleasure of viewing these fine films. Neither has Jason's girlfriend. So we set up a Star Wars party with my friends and his and go from there. Disasters all around. Scheduling, my own relationship neuroses, and the fact that my dad has lent Return of the Jedi away and I can't find it all contribute. It finally gets off the ground but it's a long hard tough battle. And it's the first major sign that things are a bit off. She leaves early, we finish Jedi a few days later, but things feel strained.

But then Calista leaves for some conference. That took some pressure off. I miss her, of course. But it makes life a little easier, juggling only my job and friends. She comes back and we go out, I'm happy, etc. She makes me happy to be around. She's excited to see me. She tells me about a stalker she had at the conference and how she mentioned me always to try and keep him away. Me! As if I'm a threat. No, not a threat. But a commitment. And that's nice.

Quick Anecdote